Week 5 Bad Zombie Movie Marathon Reviews

This is it, folks, the final week of reviews on bad zombie movies. Although I have to say that I enjoyed most of the movies I watched. Don’t forget to drop by the Vamplit Blog to read Gaynor’s reviews and of course mine are over there too. Here are the reviews:

Boy Eats Girl is one of those movies I should have sat down and reviewed right away because it’s forgettable. I think Boy Eats Girl tried to be like Sean of the Dead, but fell short. It was predictable and boring where it tried to be funny. I also found it to be one of those movies where you spend more time questioning the character’s actions, which take away from the story and the viewers ability to just sit back and enjoy the movie. However, while I didn’t enjoy it, I think young teens might like it, and let me repeat young teens. My son is 17 and had the same opinion I did about this movie. We both agreed it was worthy of 2 out of 5 bloody brains.

Jake and I enjoyed Return of the Living Dead 3. I haven’t seen the first two movies, which surprises me, but shouldn’t matter from what I’ve read in other reviews because this one is so different from the others. The teen love story in this one was good. Boy’s passionate for his girl and when he’s responsible for her death, his grief makes him desperate enough to turn her into the undead using some fucked up serum. It felt a little like Pet Cemetary in that regard. *SPOILER* Watching her transform and self-inflict pain upon herself the suppress her hunger was the best part. She did some really freaky shit you’ve gotta see. What really added to the atmosphere was the darkness of the way this movie was filmed. The characters always doing the wrong thing also worked in this film unlike the movie above. Jake and I agreed it deserved 3 out of 5 bloody brains.

Zombie High is NOT a zombie movie. Instead, it tries to make a political statement, but fails because most viewers would fall asleep or turn the movie off out of boredom. I feel like I’m the mindless zombie for watching the whole damn thing. That aside, the message is conform or die. Those who submit to the procedure that make them conform are working for the side of evil, but they walk around like zombies, metaphorically. There’s a school dance scene that shows couples dancing like mindless, emotionless zombies (right-wing conservative republicans–clearing my throat). By the way, that was one of the hardest scenes to sit through. All I’m saying here is if you want to point the finger at your political enemy in a horror movie, make them bad and evil and interesting enough to carry the movie, PLEASE! I generously give it 1 out of 5 bloody brains.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls is about three young women killed in their prime by tainted milk. They come back form the grave for revenge in scenes that mix sex and gore that carried the movie and made it okay. This movie has an overdone plot, more of a 1970s feel and I really don’t consider this a zombie movie so much. Still, I think it’s worthy of 3 out of 5 bloody brains based on a few of the gory sex scenes. As long as you don’t have high expectations going in, you might enjoy it.

Doctor Blood’s Coffin is more of the typical Frankensteinian mad scientist movie than a zombie movie. Also more thriller and suspense than gore. I actually enjoyed the movie and the interaction of the characters. Dr. Blood’s character successfully portrayed his decent into insanity as he became more obsessed with resurrection and his love interest. The amazing scenery was an added extra. Not the best sci fi/horror mix of the 1960s, but entertaining. I give it 3 out of 5 bloody brains.

Beneath the Surface was my favorite zombie movie this week, and an excellent teenage love story. A blossoming romance between beauty and the geek is cut short when her ex-boyfriend tries to take advantage of her but ends up killing her and staging the scene to look like a suicide. Right off the bat, the movie does a good job of portraying teen cruelty. Geeky Ethan is sure Kahlah was murdered and steals his neighbor’s voodoo mix to bring her back and find out the truth. So this one is a true zombie tale that follows the predicament Ethan’s gotten himself into, including what to do with his undead girlfriend he keeps in a drawer under his bed after he finds she is nothing more than a mindless, speechless zombie willing to do anything he requests. For a B-movie, this film had some great characters, decent acting and storyline, and enough blood and guts to carry you through the end of the movie. The relationship between Ethan and Kahlah while she was both alive and undead was sweet and exactly what teens would love to watch. Much better than any Twilight movie in my book. I loved it and gave it 4 out of 5 bloody brains.

The Walking Dead was not on my original bad zombie movie list, but I happened upon it, available for viewing on Netflix. So I opted out of watching Survival of the Dead and sat glued to the TV for the first six episodes of The Walking Dead. WOW! It’s amazing! I wasn’t so sure about it at first, when Rick Grimes woke up in the hospital like in 28 Weeks Later. I’d heard only good things about the series, so I watched on. Reviews are all over the internet and so many people have watched this series that I’m not going waste my time telling you what you already know. What I will say is that they did an excellent job setting up this series, which is basically what you got in the first 6 episodes. They did exactly what I hoped for in this series and reminded us that the undead are not our only enemies during times of strife. I also think that anyone who does not normally watch zombie movies, but can take the gore would really enjoy this series as well. I personally can’t wait to watch more! I give it 4 out of 5 bloody brains.


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