Week 3 Bad Zombie Movie Marathon Reviews

It’s week 3 of my zombie movie a day marathon with Gaynor Stenson on the Vamplit Blog and I haven’t gone crazy yet. Jake and I are still watching our way through some pretty poorly rated movies, and this week we found a few gems and a few stinkers.

These reviews are also posted with Gaynor’s over on Vamplit Blog.

Beast Within was one of my favorites this week. I watched it alone after seeing that it was a German film, expecting subtitles which my son hates. Turned out it had been dubbed in English, although I would have preferred it in German. I’ve watched so many badly dubbed horror movies, what’s another one, right? Unfortunately not everyone shares my opinion, because the dubbing is what brought the rating down on this movie. This was a pretty good zombie flick about a new strain of avian flu turning people into zombies. Even better, the birds are infected and just as nuts. This film had a dark and dreary atmosphere, mainly taking place at a rundown old house. Right up my alley. Some of the characters were just as dark as the zombies, adding to decent storyline the tension in the film. I give it 4 out 5 bloody brains and say at least give it a try.

I hated Edges of Darkness through the first fifteen minutes because I hadn’t read the movie description. It’s a weird one and you need to go into this film knowing it’s three different tales of survivors after a ‘global apocalypse.’ The tales just didn’t mesh and left me thinking, huh? In addition, there is only one part of the film that touchds on zombies which was during a vampire tale. Still, the stories got better as the film progressed, and in the end I can say it wasn’t horrible. But if you’re looking for a zombie film, skip this one. Overall I’m generous, giving it 3 out of 5 stars because you don’t get much in the way of bloody brains in this one. Jake was in agreement.

Awaken the Dead is the worst zombie movie Jake and I have watched by far. It tried to be artsy and fell on it’s face. And I can’t comment any better than another reviewer who said, “Beware of movies that have scenes with alarm clocks going off throughout. It seems the filmmakers were proactive about keeping viewers from sleeping through this stinker. I know I would have otherwise slept through it.” Jake was nicer with his review. He said the music was kind of cool and would give the movie 1 out of 5 bloody brains solely based on the music. I can barely give it 1/2 a bloody brain.

Dead and Deader was a surprise because Dean Cain was in it, and while I didn’t recognize his name at first, I did recognize his face. He played a half zombie soldier who combats fellow soldiers who turned full zombies after they return to the states. Who better to foil the zombies and their makers, right? The movie would have made a fun television series on the comedy network, with Dean Cain playing the hero lead. It would also make a fun book series. Jake and I both enjoyed this one and the way it spoofed zombies. We gave it 4 out of 5 bloody brains.

Okay, maybe The Zombie Apocalypse was the worst zombie movie we’ve watched so far. We both lost interest in this one shortly into the movie. I think it’s because this movie doesn’t really have anything unique or interesting to offer. I found myself checking email half way in and Jake left the room. I let it run, but couldn’t tell you how it ended because I may have been washing dishes by then. 1/2 a bloody brain out of 5 from both of us.

Zombie Town is my favorite zombie movie so far this month. This movie was laughable right off the bat when a zombie showed up and managed to overpower three hillbillies with a rake stuck in his head. This movie reminded me a little of Shawn of the Dead. It had likeable characters and funny moments. No, hilarious moments! There was a decent storyline and source for the zombies, which I don’t want to spoil, so you’ll have to watch the movie. Jake mentioned that this was the first zombie movie we’ve watched this month where they shot a sighted riffle properly. I had to laugh because that’s certainly not something I would have noticed. DO NOT MISS THIS ONE!! One of the best zombie comedy movie made in my opinion. 5 out of 5 bloody brains for both Jake and me.

I expected Severed: Forest of the Dead to be horrible. After all, sap from genetically engineered trees turns people into zombies. Well after watching it I still don’t know whether or not I liked it. The storyline bothered me. It seemed to be all over the place and missing side story with the lab and logging company outside of the loggers camp. Plus, this story contains a character I would have killed fifteen minutes after the loggers started turning into zombies. **SPOILER** I can tolerate a character like him maybe half way through the movie, but the entire movie? And the ending was disappointing. Where they filmed the movie, in the forest in a logging camp was cool though. Jake gave up on this one, so not teen friendly. In the end, I was generous with this one too and gave it 3 out of 5 bloody brains.

Next week’s movies: Johnny Sunshine, Return in Red, Nightmare Alley, Wicked Little Things, Shaolin vs. Evil Dead, Zombie Farm, Zombies, Zombies, Zombies

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