The Warlock Movies

Sorry, no low-budget movies this week. Why? Netflix distracted me with suggestions to watch the Warlock movies. Now I had already seen the first movie, many times in fact and have even read the print version. I had no idea they made two more movies, so I had to watch them.

Warlock (1989), gosh has it been that long since I first saw this movie? Anyways, here’s what it’s about. “In 17th century Boston, a warlock (Julian Sands) escapes death and magically leaps 300 years into the future, where he searches in Los Angeles for the three parts of the Devil’s Bible that will unmake the world.” I love this movie and the book and it doesn’t happen often that I equally enjoy both. Warlock is a witty horror movie with great characters. Julian Sands was a perfect cast as the warlock, although the other members of the cast could use a few acting lessons considering this movie had an actual budget. Okay, they weren’t that bad, and if that’s my only complaint about the movie, well… What’s great about this movie is that it still stands apart as a good horror movie without all the special effects. If you can get your hands on the book, read it, although I think it might be out of print. There were some awesome scenes cut out of the movie, which is understandable. Let’s just say the warlock has a gigantic penis that is the true weapon used to kill his first victim, and so well written in the book that I vividly remember it over 20 years later. All in all, 5 OUT OF 5 STARS.

In Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) “Satan’s favorite son, the Warlock, returns — this time to collect six ancient stones that will unlock his father from hell and return him to Earth. Complicating matters are two high schoolers who unknowingly hold the power to save the world.” No where near as good as the first movie, but enjoyable. This is one of those movies where the plot tried too hard and fell flatter because of the acting. I didn’t care though because Julian Sands returned and carried the movie. There were also some fun parts, like the movie opener. Don’t expect much from this one and you might just enjoy it too. 3 OUT OF 5 STARS.

Warlock 3: The End of Innocence (1999) can’t be compared to the first and second movie because it has no connection to them and unfortunately no Julian Sands. Luckily I knew this going in or I’d have been reallllly disappointed. What’s it about? “When a rich uncle leaves her a sprawlin crumbling 16th-century mansion as part of her inheritance, a college student (Ashley Laurence) and her friends leave campus behind for a fun-filled weekend in the country. But their holiday quickly morphs into hell on earth.” Expect a slasher movie and it’ll deliver. This is a B grade film and should be watched as such. I liked the atmosphere of the house in this film and thought the acting was better than in Armageddon. You do have to remember that in cheesy horror films, cars don’t start and characters do bizarre things like walk barefoot in a nightgown through an old dirty house about to be tore down. Or find beds clean enough to sleep in. I don’t think it’s as bad as the other amateur critics out there and give it 3 OUT OF 5 STARS.

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