MY BAD ZOMBIE MOVIE REVIEWS ARE BACK! In the past I’ve done these around Halloween, but I’ve been jonesin’ to watch some bad zombie movies lately. Just a quick reminder, I have a passion for low-budget sci-fi and horror movies, especially the really bad, low-rated ones that no one else likes. I purposely seek out the worst of the worst horror movies in particular and sit, start to finish, through 99.5% of ’em no matter what. Why do I do this? Because I find that I enjoy most of the them. And if you look to the right, I down right LOVE some of them and would watch them over and over again. Add to this an obsession for zombies, and here we are, a new weekly post. These reviews will also be a part of Blaze McRob’s Terror Tuesday, so drop by and see what he’s got going today.
Unfortunately I won’t be adding today’s review to my FAV list. Boy did I start with a really bad zombie movie. Rise of the Zombies was released in 2012 and has a cast of well known actors including: ex-model and long time bad actress, Mariel Hemingway; guy who best plays an idiot, Ethan Suplee; Star Trek’s Jordie, LeVar Burton; tough guy I love, Danny Trejo; another guy who best plays an idiot, French Stewart.
Get ready, because I’m going to really bash this one, and I don’t do this very often. This movie almost joined Awaken the Dead, the only zombie movie in the .5% I didn’t finish watching. The characters in Rise of the Zombies are so pathetic that you cheer on the zombies to hurry up and kill the living in the first ten minutes of the movies. Seriously, they were far below the lowest, acceptable level of stupidity you get in so many horror movies. The living are so pathetic, they can’t even figure out how to protect themselves from zombies in jail cells. The most irritating thing about the movie is they cast Ethan Suplee, yes My Nme is Earl’s idiot brother as the tough Air Force pilot, and French Stewart as the smart scientist who would save the world with his vaccine. LeVar Burton should be ashamed of himself! Mariel Hemingway has always sucked as an actress, so I won’t even bother to complain about her performance. Danny Trejo was the only decent character in the movie although he should have brought his machete.
Okay, it’s not all bad. The make up job on the zombies was okay, although their blood would inconsistently switch between red and black. There is one part worth seeing, but go look it up on YouTube. They electrically zap the zombies in one scene and is was kinda cool.
So, how does it rate? All-in-all, the movie was high on the annoying scale, and no careers were revived in this one. 1 OUT OF 5 BLOODY BRAINS.