Movie Review: Rise of the Zombies

MY BAD ZOMBIE MOVIE REVIEWS ARE BACK! In the past I’ve done these around Halloween, but I’ve been jonesin’ to watch some bad zombie movies lately. Just a quick reminder, I have a passion for low-budget sci-fi and horror movies, especially the really bad, low-rated ones that no one else likes. I purposely seek out the worst of the worst horror movies in particular and sit, start to finish, through 99.5% of ’em no matter what. Why do I do this? Because I find that I enjoy most of the them. And if you look to the right, I down right LOVE some of them and would watch them over and over again. Add to this an obsession for zombies, and here we are, a new weekly post. These reviews will also be a part of Blaze McRob’s Terror Tuesday, so drop by and see what he’s got going today.

Unfortunately I won’t be adding today’s review to my FAV list. Boy did I start with a really bad zombie movie. Rise of the Zombies was released in 2012 and has a cast of well known actors including: ex-model and long time bad actress, Mariel Hemingway; guy who best plays an idiot, Ethan Suplee; Star Trek’s Jordie, LeVar Burton; tough guy I love, Danny Trejo; another guy who best plays an idiot, French Stewart.

Get ready, because I’m going to really bash this one, and I don’t do this very often. This movie almost joined Awaken the Dead, the only zombie movie in the .5% I didn’t finish watching. The characters in Rise of the Zombies are so pathetic that you cheer on the zombies to hurry up and kill the living in the first ten minutes of the movies. Seriously, they were far below the lowest, acceptable level of stupidity you get in so many horror movies. The living are so pathetic, they can’t even figure out how to protect themselves from zombies in jail cells. The most irritating thing about the movie is they cast Ethan Suplee, yes My Nme is Earl’s idiot brother as the tough Air Force pilot, and French Stewart as the smart scientist who would save the world with his vaccine. LeVar Burton should be ashamed of himself! Mariel Hemingway has always sucked as an actress, so I won’t even bother to complain about her performance. Danny Trejo was the only decent character in the movie although he should have brought his machete.

Okay, it’s not all bad. The make up job on the zombies was okay, although their blood would inconsistently switch between red and black. There is one part worth seeing, but go look it up on YouTube. They electrically zap the zombies in one scene and is was kinda cool.

So, how does it rate? All-in-all, the movie was high on the annoying scale, and no careers were revived in this one. 1 OUT OF 5 BLOODY BRAINS.

7 thoughts on “Movie Review: Rise of the Zombies”

  1. Looks like a great bad movie to me, Wendy! What’s not to love and hate? What an awesome paradox you have come up with here. Love to hate is way cool! Super movie poster too.


  2. This movie was SO bad that I logged onto the internet and looked for a site about this movie JUST to express how bad it is. Not only is the script pure unadulterated crap, but every actor except Levar Burton (caveat though since I didn’t bother to watch more than the 20 minutes that I endured before turning it off to do my LAUNDRY instead!!!) who you can tell is trying his best to make something out of worse than nothing. He actively works against dreadful dialogue and some of the worst acting from all the other ‘names’ in the flick. I was actually surprised by the number of decent actors who turn out turd-worthy performances and even worse…no, strike that, couldn’t be worse. Did I mention that I went looking for a rant site on this movie??? Could this movie secretly be a psych test or a devious CIA mind-control trigger? THAT would make more sense than this “should-be-ashamed-to-be-in-it”-someone got a video camera for Christmas and made a movie-waste of time, effort and artist dignity. So to sum up; I didn’t prefer this Zombie movie.

    • I like how you say, “I was actually surprised by the number of decent actors who turn out turd-worthy performances…” I felt like the bad acting was a worse contagion than the zombie virus. I also have to say that you are not alone when it comes to looking up sites where you can rant. I can’t believe how many hits this post has been getting, and I just started using this blog again over the last few months.

  3. I’m glad my comments entertained everyone. After taking up time to watch this movie SOMEONE should get a few moments of real entertainment. Cheers!


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