10 Things I Love About Wine

Practicing my comedy writing skills with the reasons I love wine. Enjoy!

1. My therapy group only meets once a week, while wine is supportive 24/7.

2. A glass of wine qualifies as a daily serving of fruit, it’s good for your heart, and all the other delusional health crap.

3. Swirl, sniff, sip, repeat is a workout that never gets boring.

4. The more empty wine bottles I put in the recycle bin, the more I’m saving the environment.

5. You can fall in love with multiple varietals and none of the bottles get jealous.

6. Wine never cancels date night because it has to work late.

7. A glass half empty is just a sign you need more wine.

8. I just watched two hours of morning news and I can’t stop crying.

9. It cost only $15 to feel like a genius, while a college degree takes most of your life to pay off.

10. Wine is cheaper than bail.

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